Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
