That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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