I feel like I'm in dance class right now
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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