she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
