I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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