omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
