Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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