After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
