If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
