At least make sure they are 18
Why
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
