I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
