Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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