Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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