So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
