she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
