Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
