I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
