what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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