So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
