Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
