exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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