oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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