We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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