Your mouth is God's brothel.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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