You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
