In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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