bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
