So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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