there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Randomize
