one two three fourrrrnication!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Need sex. Gaining weight.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
