Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
