Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize