She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Idk if I want to put a bra on
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
