so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
