At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
