Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
