: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
