i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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