There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
