In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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