i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
