May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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