I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
My liver just had a heart attack.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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