this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
How external is "for external use only"?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
