Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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