We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
is wine microwaveable?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
