The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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