just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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