I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
