billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
