their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
